You become a vacuum cleaner. The mirror in my room was upset. What would you call a dapper bouncer at the laundromat? 77. They were just not ready to Lego of them. I went to a seafood disco last week, but ended up pulling a mussel. Cleaning ladies are always hiding things you leave out. So I just requested my dad if he could help me hang the laundry. 29. I made a few speaker boxes out of my used laundry detergent bottles. The cop told me, "well, they seem to have made a clean getaway. We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. But when he came back from work, the tables had turned. In the end, I threw in the towel. What kind of chocolate will you find in your pocket while doing laundry? Why not! It'd be 'Star Wash: Attack Of The Clothes'. If you dont pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed? He replied, "it was a sockrifice.". One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. We rushed them to a washpital immediately. Whats a frogs favorite type of shoes? We now call him a Spin Doctor. Nuclear detergents. 80. Sometimes I had to choose between laundry detergent and one breakfast snack. She only cleans during commercials. 8. Kids and adults will moan, groan and laugh at these corny puns and one-liners. 100. What are the only rooms without any doors or windows? Roseanne Barr, Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard. 27. 13. What would happen if a wolf fell into the washing machine? Things got a little tense. 86. 23. If you are looking for some funny real estate jokes and realtor jokes, then you will love this article! 19. These amazing nurse jokes will give you a good belly laugh. 70. They sound super clean. If you are a real estate agent yourself, or have a close friend that is a real estate agent, then you will love the real estate puns in this article. They can be basic one-liners that are nevertheless funny enough to make everyone chuckle. . Why are goalkeepers good at doing laundry? These religious jokes are (sacra)ment to make you grin for what might seem like an eternity, and bring some laughter (and possible good-natured head shaking) to your day. If youre looking for a fewjokesto use at a family get-together that wont offend any of your more sensitive relatives, youve come to the right place. Lets see some cleaning jokes by famous people. 14. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cleaners janitor dad jokes. 27. 2. Take a peek at these funny jokes we have for you. 56. In a particular version of a poker game, the players have to put away their laundry loads before play. So, let's take some time and dive into some great puns. What happened to the leopard that fell in the washing machine? What would happen if a person from Alabama dropped their detergent down a hill? What did the mom say about her kid who always took the trash out before anyone asked? What would you call an automatic washing machine that washes nun's clothing? I wrote a song about how I changed the lock of my house door. How do you make holy water? Take that, to do list! 75. Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. 30. They're also a great way to get a chuckle out of kids. Rajnandini is an art lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge. For all those homebodies, here is a list of some of the best puns and jokes about houses and furniture, which one will make you laugh? 12. My dad thought he had won an argument with my mom about how to arrange our house furniture. Exact Match Keywords: cleaning puns names, short cleaning puns, cleaning product puns, housekeeping jokes one liners, spring cleaning puns, cleaning supply puns, wash puns, dry cleaning puns Source: https://jokesquotesfactory.com/cleaning-jokes-puns/ 'Clean'ing Jokes. We all have to turn vege-chair-ian. If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler. Hes not dead, just very condescending. Jack Whitehall, Im so ugly, my father carries around the picture of the kid that came with his wallet. Rodney Dangerfield, I said to the gym instructor: Can you teach me to do the splits? He said: How flexible are you? I said: I cant make Tuesdays. Tim Vine, I like the Pope. 101. Shes 97 now and we dont know where she is. Ellen DeGeneres, I got a great review this morning. When the couch lost 20% of its body, it said "Ouch!". The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally. Marcelene Cox, Nothing inspires cleanliness more than an unexpected guest. So I became a mom. 96. What would you call it if you went poor and switched your detergent for cheap powder? Why shouldn't someone yell loudly in a laundromat? Being rich, one of the worst things that can happen to someone is having all of their secrets revealed. Connection! Here's the list of some of the punniest clever jokes related to laundry. I would tell you a joke about my bed, but it hasn't been made up yet. The bartender says, Hey! My friend once found a fifty-dollar bill in his pant's pocket after laundry. Mark Twain, that prolific witty author who brought to us the delightful tale of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, was a quick witted man who seldom kept his opinion to himself! I can write jokes I just choose not to. Stewart Lee, Conjunctivitis.com theres a site for sore eyes. Tim Vine, Exit signs? Looking for some hilarious cleaning jokes to tell your clean freak friends? 14. I dated a maid for a while but had to break it off. 23. Mushrooms! Instead of vacuuming the sofa, just flip over the cushions. 2. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. 44. But my mom encouraged us and said "I am sure it wood work". I thought: This could be interesting. Paddy Lennox, If we were truly created by God, why do we occasionally bite the insides of our mouths? Dara OBriain, Ive always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. Billy Connolly, You cant lose a homing pigeon. - The Maids Blog Author: www.maids.com 11. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. Yes, George was Washing-a-ton. 12. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. We're here to make an ordinary day just a little more fun for you. 34. Some robbers broke into my house and stole everything except the soaps in the kitchen, laundry room, and bathroom. Here are 175 really bad jokes, ranging from terrible puns and horrible one-liners to cringy- and groan-worthy jokes that are so bad they're good. He never reads any of mine. Spike Milligan, The anti-ageing advert that I would like to see is a baby covered in cream saying, Aah, Ive used too much! Andrew Bird, I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Nick Helm, A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. I don't find medical puns funny anymore since I began suffering from an irony deficiency. All of it is washed up.". This book brings to you 500 unique easy one-liner jokes, appropriate for barely older kids and dad and mom too! 15. 99 Problems opportunities Some relatives came to our house while my sister was trying to make a swing on the front lawn by hanging on a wire. So, let's take some time and dive into some great puns. 15+ Cheeky and Corny Love Jokes you can laugh with him and her! Did you hear the one about the messy bed? My dad just said, "the dryer can't run. She seemed surprised. 68. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. 5. It's pretty cute until it poops on your head." "I'm skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. There should be confetti in tires, so it's still an okay day when there is a blow-out. 19. Riveting! Stewart Francis, The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. 32. 49. Whats that popular meme thats been making the rounds on social media for years? Speaking to his son, a man started venting about his job at the dry cleaners and how sick and tired he was of it. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon. Famous One Liner Jokes. A ghost walked into a bar and ordered a shot of vodka. Its your vacuum cleaner that should give you pause. If you want to read more puns about clothes, be sure to check out sock puns and shoe puns. How did the accident patient get a clean bill of health? Zombies are most afraid of the living room. 18. The reason those quotes are shared so much is that they are so freaking relatable! BBLTHRW. Why a carrot as a logo? The glass complimented the coffee mug and said, "You look absolutely mug-nificient". My friend was explaining electricity to me, but I was like, Watt?. Laundry puns arent as bad as everyone thinks they are. 48. Realtor sheep like to chill in the baaa-throom. I am originally from Indiana. Dad: What do you mean? Teen: It sucks. Dad: Well, there is always Roomba improvement.. I built a car out of my used and broken washing machine. It was way too cold out tide. 46. A termite walks into the bar and asks, Is the bar tender here?. Via Getty Images/Michael Heim / EyeEm. She used to say things like: heres five pounds dont tell your mother. Have a go at this list of puns, including puns on clothes, the washing machine puns, and other hilarious puns. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. I wanted my kids to watch the orchestra, but I had to turn it off. It doesn't have legs.". 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. My house is so messy it looks like Im losing a game of Jumanji. He came out spotless. I told her, "Is it not ironic that these dryer sheets get stuck to the clothes?" I like jokes about stationery, but rulers are where I draw the line. A real estate agent's favourite beverage is proper-tea . From hilarious riddles about daylight saving time to gut-busting one-liners about spring cleaning, this list of jokes and clever puns will tickle just about everyone's funny bone. 63. We didnt have anything in the house if it wasnt neon! Dylan Moran, Looking at my face is like reading in the car. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. If your daughter gets untidy from playing in the mud outside, you should just washer and dryer. Tommy Cooper I just got lost in thought. He disappeared without a tres. 64. They would be the real crime detergents. Yeah, they got him on possession. 11. 1. 85. If I did, I'd do my laundry regularly. It'd be a clothes call. #1. 41. My life would succ without them. Both of us cant look good at the same time, its me or the house. If you liked our suggestions for the best house puns, jokes, and one liners, then why not take a look at these bone puns, or for something other than puns, take a look at our list of the skeleton jokes for kids. 7. Theyre on the way out! Tim Vine, I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down. Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. My friend once found a $50 bill in his pants pocket after laundry. It said, "good scour.". After washing all the clothes, my mom accidentally dropped all the laundry. Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! The coach replied, "You're standing too close to the ball after you've hit it.". A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, Is this stool taken?. 58. We're not going to leave you high and dry like clothes hanging outside on a line. He's going to get in loads of trouble. Today, my ten-year-old sister referred to the pile of dirty laundry my mother was washing as 'Mount Wash More'. 69. Seeing that, the relatives asked, "how often does she go online? 55. I just decided that the best action would be to close the lid and start washing it anyway. We got a new couch from the furniture store yesterday. What did the laundry ever do to you? The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but its still on the list. The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now. 78. Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, theyll want to use it. 101 Clean Jokes 1. Ready for some rib-tickling cleaning jokes? 38. Well, tell him I cant see him right now.. I cant believe I got fired from the calendar factory. He was camping in a nearby field and popped over to complain about the noise. Rob Brydon, So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, I thought, Thats a turtle disaster. Peter Kay, I love Snapchat. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. 5. Whats one way to turn a mom whos cleaning into a raving maniac? I hurt myself opening the front door yesterday. 6. The wife smiles, and says 'Thank you, that means a lot.'". Open toad sandals. 6) A player asked his golf coach: "What is going wrong with my game?". 90. 75. ' Jerry Seinfeld, I was not a particularly small child. Enter these funny one-liners. ( Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke .) A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. We dont want your type in here!. 6. 84. My room is not dirty. 88. He says, Uno, dos and poof! Bank Jokes One Liners Clean Bank Jokes Dirty Bank Jokes Bank Jokes for Adults Bank Jokes for Kids Bank Jokes and Puns Final Thoughts on Bank Jokes Best Bank Jokes To lighten your mood and boost your energies, we collected a few best bank jokes. Its just something I could really see myself doing. 60. 47. 41. Go ahead and share these all-time funniest dad jokes on your . 33. It's Washington DC. You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton. Jimmy Carr, I told the Inland Revenue I dont owe them a penny. My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. Take away the fact that there is immense multi-faceted advancement daily, and that feeling remains. Now we have no Hope, no Cash and no Jobs. Tap To Copy. Not only will the. Its like, See if you can blow this out. I do not have a single white note on my piano; my elephant smoked too much. Of course, we have more for you. De-light is the only household appliance that makes me very happy. Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. Behind every good marriage is a great house cleaning service. 3. Found your favourite joke about cleaning? Never trust atoms; they make up everything. How do people wash their laundry in Bangkok? Here is a list of some home jokes and one-liners that can use to impress your friends and family. I always say that If you think doing laundry is not funny, you just need to have a dryer sense of humor. 11. 85. 68. See you in the Email! I told them, "Just you wait!". Check your inbox for your latest news from us. If you push that down and twist it, hes full of sweets. Sean Lock, My problem with The Grand Canyon is Americans are too proud of it for my liking. 45. The cook used only one side of the kitchen and made some amazing dishes. We have a combination of the best laundry one-liners, puns, fashion puns, and clothes puns ready for you. I thought, thats Abba-riginal. Tim Vine, I think the worst thing about driving a time machine is your kids are always in the back moaning, Are we then yet? Paul F. Taylor, Two monkeys were getting into the bath. 45. 56. Remains to be seen. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 17. My cousin wanted to know if I knew any laundry puns. He had to gnocchi instead. 50. 2. Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. But he wasnt involved in the fighting. It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do. 53 Hilarious Cleaning Jokes (from Kitchen to Toilet), 75 Funny Knock Knock Jokes 2023 to Make You Laugh. My mother usually prefers doing laundry during the daytime. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. 18. I wanted her to be the maid, and I wanted to be the guy playing video games. When you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. And a slice of lemon. ), 79 BEST Funny Jokes Easy to Share (for Adults & Kids), 60 Funny Pumpkin Jokes (Youll Surely FALL in love! 9. The reason is because it is Clean Jokes and One-liners for May Read More Medical One Liners. We promise that you will like these puns as much as you like clean laundry. 12. Erma Bombeck, My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors. My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. I gave him a glass of water. 79. Lately, colleagues have been writing names on the food in the office fridge. The washing machine would engage in a viscous cycle. Not only is it terrible, its also terrible. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? They will just come out clean. Keep reading for more of the funniest jokes of all time. 17. What is the laundry capital of the USA? Why are poker players good at doing laundry? Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong. Dad made a huge gingerbread house with the kids. Suddenly it Dawn-ed on me. Instead of using fear of prison to discourage criminals, we should make them do laundry using tide pods. 2. 20. My mother came and told him to fold it as he had promised and not lie on it while he watched TV. Do you want me to help you clean it?. A blind man walked into a bar and a table and a chair. They sound super clean. We couldnt afford a dog. Gary Delaney, You give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Phyllis Diller, Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture. You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. I made a few speaker boxes out of my used laundry detergent bottles. Take a minute to share some of these quips with the other moms in your life. My friend found a peanut in her wet laundry. THIS IS HILARIOUS. Laundry puns are always clean and not at all washed out. Why? Today, I ran out of body wash and soap, and the only thing I could find was some detergent. 67. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. If you want more, we have clean jokes that are actually funny. Last night my girlfriend was complaining that I never listen to her or something like that. We call her deodor-aunt. These puns and jokes can brighten up your day at home. That was a load off of my mind. You look flushed! 17. Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. 44. My friend invented a washing machine for banknotes. The problem isnt that obesity runs in your family. What happened to the fly on the toilet seat? They also make great Instagram captions for laundry day. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. These clever jokes will lift your spirits, brighten your mood and get you giggling in no time. 30. Today, I got offered a job at a prison laundry. A linty-hop. This list also has some gingerbread house puns to use when you have created your masterpiece. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! I asked him if I liked the unusual design of the roof even though I knew it had gone over his head. Please add a link to this article. That are Actually Funny. Mario Buatta, The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. Washington. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. ' Alan Carr, The easiest time to add insult to injury is when youre signing somebodys cast. Demetri Martin, I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldnt find any. Tommy Cooper, My wife its difficult to say what she does.